Scar Clan


Paintings by Ronnie Biccard

As I observe in the mirror, the changing plains of my face
I notice ravines where once there was only a smooth plateau,
dunes, where once there was nothing but white sand.
And I know, there is no stopping time. Time, the long march
to which there is no cure, no slowing, no delays.
Once upon a time, last week, I lay in bed
smoldering with fever and aches and swollen parts
and I came to realize, the Truth.
One day, this body will die. This body, of which
I have taken for granted, pushed beyond its limits,
punished and abused and yet it has forgiven me. Now.
There will come a time, when the fever will not abate,
a time when things will not heal and then I will wait,
wait for the cells to cease their dance, the heart
to stop beating it’s long drum song and for the heat
to cool this earthly clay, until at last the bones
will be all that’s left of this frame to which I have
housed myself for this blink of a lifetime.
I see it already. This body has already changed
so many times over, from infant, to child,
to adolescent and young adult, to mature female.
This body has already been reborn many times.
I am a different woman to the man who met me
twelve years ago and he to me, in the shifting sheddings
of our regenerative skins.
I see it in my beloved, in the changes raging in his face,
his hair, his shoulder blades.
I kiss the breath in his mouth, as if to assure myself we are still
breathing, the rhythm still pulsing in our veins.
Every touch, something to savor.
We are Scar Clan, and I am the survivor of Seven Battlefields.
And I may yet live through many more.
But I am not afraid, I observe this ever-moving canvas,
as though watching a film of this moment, this life,
these hands and feet and eyes.
I know that which we all know and yet deny with every
fiber in our fragile human forms. One day, these bodies
will die. One day, these bodies will die. One, day…
these bodies, WILL, die.
But I do not say I. I will never die.
There has never been a time when I have not Been,
nor will there be a time when I will cease to Be.
I am not this body, I am the silent witness behind it.
The driver in the seat of this vehicle, on this journey,
in this lifetime. And I will go on many more and experience
many other adventures, saying yes, Yes, YES with
joyful participation in the sorrows of this world
until I come at last, to the Truth after many Paths
and Know who I really am, forever,
until I begin again.

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One thought on “Scar Clan

  1. YES! YES! YES!ever moving canvas, and the witness.ahhhhhh….i too find it funny that we live mostly in denial of our body's inevitable death and all the things around us dying in cycles continuously. but i guess it makes sense~ we ARE really beyond this stuff. so i guess maybe innately we know that we can't "die".

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